professional

A brand new addition to the world's greatest tie assemblage, this time compliments of Paxton Rice, who liberated it from his grandfather's collection.

Said to me with a straight face, by a student oblivious to my methods: "So... are you going to wear any wacky ties this year? I mean, all your ties are so professional."

git along, little neckties

From Nov 8, 2008

Another Guilfoil donation, worthy of John Wayne. Well, almost: "UNION MADE in U.S.A."


A repeat, and a doozy at that.

a bright shining tie

Fresh, exciting, and new.

two for Tuesday's graduation

A new tie this year, compliments of senior Mikaela Cox. Worn during the day of Capital's graduation.


Another newbie, this from Jill Mauerman, and worn during the ceremony.

the ugliest tie in existence

Yes, my dogmatism is warranted.

Thanks to senior Megan Haughton, who, like me, is a savvy Goodwill shopper.

kiss me, I'm polyester

Hand-made, too. In Cambodia.

compare and contrast

a view from above

As the year begins its descent, the ties are still flying high.

making the world a better place

One tie at a time.

burn blue

The poor lighting doesn't do justice to the blazing blue and yellow stripes, sparking the imagination of passersby, inflaming a bonfire of possibilities.

That's enough for that metaphor.

success

As predicted, at this point in the year, this otherwise atrocious tie has been declared "not that tacky."

a poem for Tacky Tie Thursday

I met a traveler with an antique tie
Who said:--Two vast and dec'rous neckwear racks
Hang in a closet. When the dawn is nigh,
A teacher clad in long-sleeved shirt and slacks
Examines each with a discerning eye
And, choosing one, with simple binding knot
Secures the artificial to his frame--
The polyester that the world forgot--
Bold patterns, bolder colors both declare:
"My name is Anderson, ye fashion-lame;
Look on my tie collection and despair!"
Thus still, within a world where slow decay
With silk combines to choke and throttle flair,
One teacher's polyester braves the day.



[Apologies to Percy B. Shelley.]

back in the habit

You've had over a week to rest your eyes. But midwinter break is over, and bad fashion marches on.

fashion formula

Brown and yellow: harvesty.
Yellow and blue: spirited.
Brown and yellow and blue: tacky cubed.

culpability

Should we blame the tie for the wavy distortion in the photo? Or, rather, should we blame the liberal media?

symbolism

Bananas, balsamic vinegar, and a striped swath of you-fill-in-the-blank.

I've got the power

Even when the power's out, this little number positively glows.

grinds my gears

Which, in the case of polyester neckwear, is a good thing.

see that thou lov'st what is lovely

Said William Penn. I agree completely.

follow the yellow brick road