the blues

My wife found this one in an area Goodwill. Who would discard such a beautiful work of art?

professional

A brand new addition to the world's greatest tie assemblage, this time compliments of Paxton Rice, who liberated it from his grandfather's collection.

Said to me with a straight face, by a student oblivious to my methods: "So... are you going to wear any wacky ties this year? I mean, all your ties are so professional."

a fresh look

This one's thanks to Ariel Davis, a savvy Value Village shopper with a keen eye for tacky.

you can't call it a costume if you wear it every (other) day

From Tacky Ties 10 24 08

From Tacky Ties 10 24 08

This week's ties were scrounged from a theater collection by Gabriella Guilfoil, who has a keen eye for tacky.

a bright shining tie

Fresh, exciting, and new.

good sense

Good sense would dictate: never mix stripes and polka dots, or stripes and flowers, or flowers and polka dots.

Not as if the makers of tacky ties have good sense.

(I had to use the faraway shot so you could see the triple error--and so you wouldn't lose your vision, or, worse, your faith in humanity.)

kiss me, I'm polyester

Hand-made, too. In Cambodia.

notes

A deranged reindeer. It is June, and he is still delivering presents. Better call the union rep.

Bland, resourceful polyester. My desensitization theory is entirely true.

a view from above

As the year begins its descent, the ties are still flying high.

shadow and substance

burn blue

The poor lighting doesn't do justice to the blazing blue and yellow stripes, sparking the imagination of passersby, inflaming a bonfire of possibilities.

That's enough for that metaphor.

the ugliest tie in the world

It's a bold claim, but I'm the sort of tie aficionado with the bad taste and the breadth of neckwear experience to make it.

success

As predicted, at this point in the year, this otherwise atrocious tie has been declared "not that tacky."

a poem for Tacky Tie Thursday

I met a traveler with an antique tie
Who said:--Two vast and dec'rous neckwear racks
Hang in a closet. When the dawn is nigh,
A teacher clad in long-sleeved shirt and slacks
Examines each with a discerning eye
And, choosing one, with simple binding knot
Secures the artificial to his frame--
The polyester that the world forgot--
Bold patterns, bolder colors both declare:
"My name is Anderson, ye fashion-lame;
Look on my tie collection and despair!"
Thus still, within a world where slow decay
With silk combines to choke and throttle flair,
One teacher's polyester braves the day.



[Apologies to Percy B. Shelley.]

the old college try

A dash of pretension and an ounce of stiff upper lip.

as good as it gets

This is the least tacky tie I own.

I wore it while...

1. Teaching colons, dashes, and parentheses.
2. Correcting misspellings of "carnivore."
3. De-angsting students frazzled by IB requirements.
4. Driving past DuPont, City of Branding.
5. Judging speech rounds at Nat Quals.
6. Writing up a debate budget between rounds.
7. Surviving dramatic interps about eating, not eating, and hating those who eat without guilt.
8. Blogging.

back in the habit

You've had over a week to rest your eyes. But midwinter break is over, and bad fashion marches on.

fashion formula

Brown and yellow: harvesty.
Yellow and blue: spirited.
Brown and yellow and blue: tacky cubed.

C-O-U-G-A-R-S

CHS Cougars, that is. Missed yesterday because of all-day meetings, so I broke code and wore this polyester classic on Spirit Friday.

symbolism

Bananas, balsamic vinegar, and a striped swath of you-fill-in-the-blank.