triptych

Over a month ago I hoped things at school were "truly back to normal."

As if.

Anyhow, the one thing that is always in session: the tacky. The following ties are all new--to me, at least.





In order, thanks to Ben Leierer, Matthew Stidham, and Danny Stohr.

the year starts anew

Today's tacky tie, compliments of Erika Longino, is a series of coats, jackets, and parkas of various dispositions and colorations. A Gap tie. Yes, Gap is responsible for fashion flubs, too.

two new

A pink and blue concoction found in Marshalls' clearance-clearance ($3, for good reason).


Thanks to Erika Longino, who wasn't sure what sort of fruit it depicts. Squash-berries?

two for Tuesday's graduation

A new tie this year, compliments of senior Mikaela Cox. Worn during the day of Capital's graduation.


Another newbie, this from Jill Mauerman, and worn during the ceremony.

good sense

Good sense would dictate: never mix stripes and polka dots, or stripes and flowers, or flowers and polka dots.

Not as if the makers of tacky ties have good sense.

(I had to use the faraway shot so you could see the triple error--and so you wouldn't lose your vision, or, worse, your faith in humanity.)

belle cravate

When I told students that I purchased this silken wonder for $300 in a Paris shop, some of their eyes bugged out in amazement--probably because I don't often tell tall tales.

Real origin: unknown, but lately discovered at an Olympia Goodwill by one Matt Valloni. Approximate retail value $3.00. Prices lower in Canada.

fresh, new

Amazingly, I somehow managed to go all last year without wearing this pink paisley panther of a tie.

(Wall sold separately.)

culpability

Should we blame the tie for the wavy distortion in the photo? Or, rather, should we blame the liberal media?

still life with poäng

Tacky Tie Rule #4: A holiday-themed tie may be worn on any day except the holiday.

I've got the power

Even when the power's out, this little number positively glows.

meet the press

When you have an interview with a reporter scheduled, choose iridescent salmon and gold. You can't go wrong.

cotton candy

It looks like Goodwill wall art, but it's really a tie. A cotton tie.