Mr. A's world of tacky ties

happy graduation tie

2011-06-15T19:22:00.000-07:00

Cameron Seib donated this beauty, which made even more festive the celebration of CHS's 2011 commencement.

sad panda tie owner

2011-05-31T17:58:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Jennifer K., class of '11, and to the someone somewhere who is very, very sad to have donated their panda tie to Goodwill.

how sweet it is

2011-03-01T18:37:00.000-08:00

At long last, a new tacky tie: a polyester wonder donated by Kristyn Ross.

The absurdist pattern--truly the Hershey corporation's greatest work--got rave reviews all Tuesday long.

the blues

2010-05-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

My wife found this one in an area Goodwill. Who would discard such a beautiful work of art?

the apparition of these faces in the crowd

2009-12-03T20:21:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Whitney Friddle for this hideous yet poetic piece. A Mervyns classic.

In case you were aching for a closeup.

professional

2009-09-15T18:14:00.000-07:00

A brand new addition to the world's greatest tie assemblage, this time compliments of Paxton Rice, who liberated it from his grandfather's collection.

Said to me with a straight face, by a student oblivious to my methods: "So... are you going to wear any wacky ties this year? I mean, all your ties are so professional."

tacky tie twins

2009-09-10T20:46:00.001-07:00

Today was the first Thursday of the 2009 school year, and hence the first blooming of the Tacky Tie.

Yesterday, I notified my student teacher about the custom, inviting him to partake of my collection and join in the fun each Tuesday and Thursday during his ten-week stint. He said it was a fine idea, and wore the floral print below. (His shirt was pumpkin, which matched perfectly, which is to say, even more hideously.)

During our prep period, as we strode out of the copy room, a passing faculty member called us the "Blues Brothers."

the greatest tie of all time?

2009-06-15T18:55:00.000-07:00

The last day of school--for me, at least, because of the trip to Birmingham--was Friday the 12th. To celebrate a crazy, wonderful year, one of the students in my 4th period class really wanted to bring in a dessert. Thursday she asked me if I enjoyed cake. "Of course," I said, having no idea that the cake was bound to bear my name and a likeness of my hallmark.

Twenty-eight slices of heaven: a tacky tie with raspberry filling.

go Mariners!

2009-04-14T17:01:00.000-07:00

Junior's back, and so are the Mariners. In celebration of the first homestand of the season, I wore the only non-tacky tie in my whole collection. Will it bring victory? Through five innings, the answer is yes...

luck of the... something

2009-03-17T15:00:00.001-07:00

It's got green on it. That's good enough for today.

ties are the constant

2009-03-15T20:38:00.000-07:00

No matter what the weather brings, the ties persist. From the last two weeks, three repeats in two photos. Enjoy.

triptych

2009-03-01T19:28:00.000-08:00

Over a month ago I hoped things at school were "truly back to normal."

As if.

Anyhow, the one thing that is always in session: the tacky. The following ties are all new--to me, at least.

In order, thanks to Ben Leierer, Matthew Stidham, and Danny Stohr.

a fresh look

2009-01-24T15:19:00.000-08:00

This one's thanks to Ariel Davis, a savvy Value Village shopper with a keen eye for tacky.

truly back to normal

2009-01-15T21:28:00.000-08:00

Since I missed the Tuesday before Winter Break--which turned out to be the last day before the snow struck. Thus, it's been over a month since the appearance of Tacky Tie Tuesday or Thursday.

Yikes.

catching up

2008-12-16T19:01:00.000-08:00

Two for last week; none for the present, since I didn't teach today.

sure it does.

2008-12-08T06:50:00.000-08:00

"As one of your choices, link Macbeth to an event or situation in the "real world," I offered.

"Does 'Star Trek' count as the 'real world?'" she asked.

polka dotty

2008-12-02T16:47:00.000-08:00

Wednesday of last week. (It's a long story.)

Today.

I didn't realize I had concatenated polka dot ties until I went to post these photos.

Good for me!

the final fashion frontier

2008-11-23T17:01:00.000-08:00

Another donation from Daniel Grimm, worn Thursday the 20th to equal parts acclaim and horror.

100% dyed tribble fur.

think green

2008-11-23T16:55:00.000-08:00

Although a polyester tie can be green only in the chromatic sense.

going places

2008-11-17T16:03:00.000-08:00

From Tacky Ties 10 24 08

Thursday's tie is a little late, thanks to a debate tournament that chewed up my weekend.

The origin: Daniel Grimm. The destination: fashion immortality.

From Mr. A's world of tacky ties

The tie that preceded it, weekwise, is a classic: the red and blue eye-popper on the left.

git along, little neckties

2008-11-09T08:03:00.000-08:00

From Nov 8, 2008

Another Guilfoil donation, worthy of John Wayne. Well, almost: "UNION MADE in U.S.A."

A repeat, and a doozy at that.

déjà vu

2008-11-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

A little over two years ago, I wore these ties on a Tuesday and Thursday in the exact same order as this past week. Coincidence, or spooky Halloween omen?

you can't call it a costume if you wear it every (other) day

2008-10-24T07:28:00.000-07:00

From Tacky Ties 10 24 08

This week's ties were scrounged from a theater collection by Gabriella Guilfoil, who has a keen eye for tacky.

tiny photos of big ties

2008-10-17T17:27:00.000-07:00

Tuesday and Thursday. (I'll get a non-blurred photo of the gear tie one of these days.)

calm in a storm

2008-10-09T16:29:00.000-07:00

World economic collapse got you down? Go to your floral neckwear happy place and watch your troubles waft away on a sweet-scented breeze.

the autumn leaves

2008-10-09T06:50:00.000-07:00

They're technically flowers, but close enough. Tuesday's, two days late.

order in the court

2008-10-04T08:14:00.000-07:00

Spirit Week: "Do Work" day means dress for success in a desired, or desirable, career. I chose the law, since, as an English teacher and debate coach, I live at the intersection of hermeneutics and judicature.

And that is a fun sentence to say out loud.

a bright shining tie

2008-09-30T20:59:00.000-07:00

Fresh, exciting, and new.

the circle of life

2008-09-25T18:03:00.001-07:00

Know where this one came from? Dad's closet, in an approved tacky-tie raid, a couple years ago.

Know where he got it?

His kids.

It might've even been from me.

going green

2008-09-24T05:53:00.000-07:00

A year and four days later, this one cycles back through. Beautiful shimmery green, like an algae-covered trout.

the color and the smell

2008-09-18T20:12:00.000-07:00

This year, my tacky ties have met an overall lukewarm reception. Something in the water, or air, maybe, dulling the senses of our nation's youth.

Until today. Take a good whiff of the polyester equivalent of smelling salts.

I swear

2008-09-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

I swear it's tacky, yet students--who haven't had enough time to be inured to the collection--insist it isn't.

Blue, orange, and brown, in their weird aesthetic universe, go together. I know. I've seen the t-shirts.

But I still don't understand.

two-day

2008-09-11T16:50:00.000-07:00

Too busy to blog this week--which is tragic. However, that means two ties instead of one. Which is the opposite of tragic.

Comedic?

the year starts anew

2008-09-04T18:28:00.000-07:00

Today's tacky tie, compliments of Erika Longino, is a series of coats, jackets, and parkas of various dispositions and colorations. A Gap tie. Yes, Gap is responsible for fashion flubs, too.

two new

2008-06-16T21:06:00.001-07:00

A pink and blue concoction found in Marshalls' clearance-clearance ($3, for good reason).

Thanks to Erika Longino, who wasn't sure what sort of fruit it depicts. Squash-berries?

two for Tuesday's graduation

2008-06-10T21:38:00.001-07:00

A new tie this year, compliments of senior Mikaela Cox. Worn during the day of Capital's graduation.

Another newbie, this from Jill Mauerman, and worn during the ceremony.

farewell, seniors

2008-06-05T14:34:00.001-07:00

It's your last Thursday. Bon voyage from the floating Ball Park franks.

a new day dawns

2008-06-03T14:11:00.000-07:00

A row of gleaming suns, rising through the smog.

ante-ante-ante-antepenultimate

2008-05-31T11:48:00.000-07:00

I think I counted the prefixes and ties correctly: with school ending on June 16th, only five remain. That makes this the sixth-to-last of the year.

That's as close as I'll come to counting down the days.

"You look like an Easter egg."

2008-05-27T21:20:00.000-07:00

No argument, really. I am perennially out of season.

sunny disposition

2008-05-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

Which necessitates a glowing tie. (It glows even stronger against a light blue backdrop.)

Originally posted here.

aurum

2008-05-21T17:46:00.000-07:00

Originally posted here.

calm down

2008-05-13T16:51:00.000-07:00

Seriously. Chillax. Everything's going to be just fine.

The tie--not so much.

whither team?

2008-05-09T19:39:00.001-07:00

Tried a little magical thinking: I'd wear the tie, and the Mariners would bust out of their funk. Hasn't exactly worked.

matchless

2008-05-06T21:50:00.000-07:00

1. Peerless.
2. Unmatchable.

picante

2008-05-01T17:01:00.001-07:00

Tuesday's in its rookie appearance.

Thursday's, a repeat from long ago.

groovy

2008-04-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

Today's neckwear is seen at left. A mysterious red swath at the bottom, not in frame, makes the tie appear as if it's been dipped in bright red paint. The heady 70s, a time of mystical fashion choices.

[Original found here.]

fashion is the law

2008-04-22T16:57:00.000-07:00

So let's get litigious!

(Tie, if I recall correctly, compliments of Paxton Rice. On the reverse, it says, "Honest lawyer one flight up!" I guess this is a stab at self-deprecating humor.)

warped factor 2

2008-04-17T18:22:00.000-07:00

Now, as ever, the tiling is all.

purplescent

2008-04-15T15:04:00.000-07:00

Turn the tie, and it iridesces from purple to purple.

all that glisters

2008-04-03T21:28:00.000-07:00

...is not gold. Thankfully, some that glister, golden or no, are manufactured from complex chains of carbon-based molecules.

Elmo, Elmo, Elmo, Elmo, Elmo...

2008-04-01T20:45:00.000-07:00

This is what toddlers see when they're drunk on power, or fermented apple juice.

Friday tie

2008-03-30T08:58:00.000-07:00

I missed Thursday, so I made it up a day late. Wear with blue, and watch the blues melt away.

late to the party

2008-03-25T15:33:00.000-07:00

Two from last week, one from this week.

Tuesday, March 18.

Thursday, March 20.

Today.

causality

2008-03-13T21:37:00.000-07:00

Tuesday: wore a loud tie. Started losing my voice.

Thursday: wore a flower tie. Sneezed half the day.

I hate to make the inference.

no fumar

2008-03-06T21:14:00.003-08:00

Today's tie is all silk and all new, at least to me, and thanks to Ito Santamarina, who blithely wore it all around Europe, even though, in polite company, it must have garnered scorn, or, at best, severe indifference.

(All those commas 'cause we're winded.)

Super Tuesday II

2008-03-04T17:31:00.000-08:00

Those searching for a portent within the pattern and colors of this tie should... keep searching.

bring back that paisley feeling

2008-02-29T06:31:00.000-08:00

Whoa-oh paisley feeling...

priority

2008-02-26T21:34:00.000-08:00

Did you know you can play a guitar while wearing a tie, and if you're careful, it won't even get in the way? The guitar, I mean?

lucky tie

2008-02-21T15:17:00.000-08:00

Last time, the power went out out. This time, we had a 45-minute lockdown thanks to a nearby bank-jacking.

Good thing I'm not superstitious.

prohibition

2008-02-19T19:37:00.000-08:00

You should probably not wear this tie with a striped shirt.

(You're not me. You can't get away with it.)

brown to green: some kind of spring metaphor

2008-02-14T15:11:00.000-08:00

And you know how much I love metaphors.

oro y verde

2008-02-07T20:07:00.001-08:00

It looks even better with a blue-green shirt. Trust me.

stylin'

2008-02-05T23:25:00.000-08:00

Goes well--not at all--with a brown polyester Levi's jacket, the kind you can buy only at a Texas Goodwill, and for only 99 cents, and that only if you're really, really lucky.

And tacky.

warmer climes

2008-02-03T13:26:00.000-08:00

While it's still 40something and drizzly, imagine a sweet tropical breeze, the scent of orange juice and loathing.

Cotton!

that time of year

2008-01-29T21:08:00.000-08:00

Just over a year later, Egypt's ancient desert sands blow into Olympia once more. Disguised as sleet.

ride on, Curious George

2008-01-26T12:05:00.001-08:00

In your Escheresque nightmarescape.

match point

2008-01-23T06:46:00.000-08:00

With a white shirt, it's almost passable. Not with a blue shirt, though. And that's what I wore this time.

on display

2008-01-17T20:11:00.000-08:00

This time, I paired it with a maroon oxford. "With a shirt that matches, it doesn't look half bad," my wife said. She is completely inured.

Romney rides to victory

2008-01-15T19:45:00.000-08:00

Or something. The colors seem right, anyhow. But is this the dawning of the apocalypse?

green on, green on, green on

2008-01-10T14:46:00.000-08:00

Green until your greens come true.

the kids of today should defend themselves against the 90s

2008-01-08T15:40:00.000-08:00

They're not reality. They're just someone else's aesthetic mentality.

I vote for polyester

2008-01-03T19:02:00.000-08:00

Rumor: there's a caucus on.
Incontrovertible fact: in the caucus of contemporary fashion, polyester wins every time.

'twas the Tuesday before break

2007-12-18T18:37:00.000-08:00

Last year I waited until March to launch the tie and the concomitant poem. This year I broke the tie out for the last day before winter break, Music Assembly Day, the day my immune system caved.

No poem this year. Too much mucus gumming up my brain.

remember

2007-12-13T19:35:00.000-08:00

One of my students said today, "For a while, I forgot about your tradition. I was looking at one of your hideous ties, and thinking, 'What's wrong with his fashion sense?' And I ask someone next to me, and they say, 'He wears tacky ties every Tuesday and Thursday.' Oh, right. It's on purpose."

I think that makes it okay.

Original posts here and here.

red ties from red square

2007-12-06T17:29:00.000-08:00

Two straight days of testing, testing, testing means one late tacky tie post. Apologies.

(Originals here and here. Title refers to the geographic location at which the ties were blogged: the heart of TESC.)

it can be done

2007-11-29T18:43:00.000-08:00

They said you couldn't mix stripes and polka dots. But then they met the polka dots arranged in a stripe pattern, and their minds exploded.

(Original incarnation here.)

tough times demand tough ties

2007-11-27T18:32:00.000-08:00

Last time I wrote, "The circle of life has its bumpy stretches." Remarkably, that was before I began working on my National Board certification.

one more down

2007-11-20T20:15:00.000-08:00

And one to go.

Days, that is, until Stuffed Turkeys Stuff Humans Holiday.

What that has to do with this tie, I have no idea. Mystification has its advantages.

more than half a day, more than 100% polyester

2007-11-15T21:04:00.000-08:00

A little past election day, this time. Worn for fourteen hours straight.

why this pattern? why these colors? why now?

2007-11-14T20:26:00.001-08:00

I don't know. I don't know. Why not?

two course meal

2007-11-08T18:10:00.000-08:00

The world's strangest hot chocolate....

Combined with a fresh filet of salmon.

good sense

2007-11-01T16:28:00.001-07:00

Good sense would dictate: never mix stripes and polka dots, or stripes and flowers, or flowers and polka dots.

Not as if the makers of tacky ties have good sense.

(I had to use the faraway shot so you could see the triple error--and so you wouldn't lose your vision, or, worse, your faith in humanity.)

belle cravate

2007-10-30T17:50:00.000-07:00

When I told students that I purchased this silken wonder for $300 in a Paris shop, some of their eyes bugged out in amazement--probably because I don't often tell tall tales.

Real origin: unknown, but lately discovered at an Olympia Goodwill by one Matt Valloni. Approximate retail value $3.00. Prices lower in Canada.

roses are brown, redux

2007-10-28T08:47:00.000-07:00

This year, with a white shirt. It only accentuated the hideousness.

fresh, new

2007-10-23T20:53:00.000-07:00

Amazingly, I somehow managed to go all last year without wearing this pink paisley panther of a tie.

(Wall sold separately.)

back to somewhat normal

2007-10-19T16:28:00.000-07:00

Tuesday's was just too much. This one is a little less earthshaking.

the ugliest tie in existence

2007-10-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

Yes, my dogmatism is warranted.

Thanks to senior Megan Haughton, who, like me, is a savvy Goodwill shopper.

remiss

2007-10-12T06:42:00.000-07:00

Yeah, this is a few days late. Sorry. Been busy.

This tie isn't tacky enough for today's high school students. In defiance of stereotypes, they demand only the best in polyester.

This little number--which isn't really that little--makes up for Tuesday's tacky deficit.

the height of tacky tie technology

2007-10-04T20:33:00.000-07:00

No, it's no digital tie. But it doesn't need any extra wattage.

[link via BoingBoing]

garish garnish

2007-10-02T21:17:00.000-07:00

Photo from last year. This time, I garnished a plain white Oxford with an authentic 70s-era neckpiece. Khakis and brown shoes completed the ensemble.

You can't wear this tie. You shouldn't even attempt it.

and my money on my tie

2007-09-28T10:59:00.000-07:00

Not that I had any bling (or ice for that matter) for Bling Bling day, so the tie had to do.

Worked last year for 80s day, too. What a multifunctional neckcessory.

everything was blue for him

2007-09-25T16:25:00.000-07:00

Today was Staff Wears Blue Day for Spirit Week, so imagine this lovely Bill Blass number against a cerulean backdrop, cool like regret.

not nearly tacky enough

2007-09-20T15:41:00.000-07:00

At least, so my students claim. But it is magenta. (This year I wore it with a plain white shirt, highlighting its magenta-ness.)

kiss me, I'm polyester

2007-09-19T16:38:00.000-07:00

Hand-made, too. In Cambodia.

you may say that I'm a dreamer

2007-09-13T20:26:00.000-07:00

Imagine all the people... living for polyester...

cardinal and golden dragons

2007-09-11T17:30:00.000-07:00

Here's the dragon tie I would have worn this past Friday, were it not for senior Andrew Kim, who urged me to wear his football jersey instead.

Tie's origin: China. Specifically, a business trip to Hong Kong. Not by me, but my older sister. Thanks, Cath.

start in style

2007-09-06T16:45:00.000-07:00

It was good for the first Thursday last year, so, since today was picture day, figured I might as well try my best to break the camera.

One more year, one more spin around the tie rack. (Racks, really. There are two.)

end of the year

2007-06-24T16:49:00.000-07:00

Three ties for the ultimate week of school, in order of appearance. Special thanks to Megan H. for the rightmost, a gift for the last day.

notes

2007-06-14T21:13:00.000-07:00

A deranged reindeer. It is June, and he is still delivering presents. Better call the union rep.

Bland, resourceful polyester. My desensitization theory is entirely true.